Howard Branham's INfamous reading of Shakespeare

[Todd B]

Man.... it's TOO quiet in here. C'mon.... there's just GOT to be a few funny stories lurking out there for publishing here! Get with the "program" folks!


One that comes to mind for me, is Howard Branham's famous "free association / interpretive reading" of Romeo and Juliet.

It was 1st hour... Miss Sweet's English class... the class taking turns reading Romeo and Juliet out LOUD.

Howard unfortunately has decided to spend a little extra time out in his car this particular morning to enjoy a little "attitude adjustment".... if you know what I mean!

Howard's turn finally arrives, and he starts off fairly well. But.... very soon his reading takes a bizarre turn at the point the story reads: "...by a fee and simple man". At this point, with everyone following along in their books, Howard takes a wrong turn and instead of verbalizing "...by a fee and simple man", he says:

"... BUY YOUR FREE SAMPLE OF MEAT FOR A DOLLAR!"

Confused, Howard pauses for a moment, and everyone looks around at each other with a "WTF?" look on their faces. AND THEN THE CLASS ERUPTS INTO HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER.

Miss Sweet, finally putting 2 and 2 together, relieves Howard from any further reading and tells him that his "reading skills" had better make a marked improvement by the next day *cough* *cough*, or he'd be paying a visit to Mr. Harold / Mr. thingy.

Sheepishly, Howard says "Yes Ma'am", and closed his book.

This was definitely a "Ya had to be there" kind of moment, but I think I did it justice in the telling.

OK.... NOW IT'S YOUR TURN!!!! START WRITING!

-T.B.

[Todd B]

Good grief!

Even the retelling of this story has a funny twist.

Note above where this silly forum's "obscene word" filter substituted the word 'thingy' for Mr. D i c k 's last name!

TOO FUNNY!

I don't think he'd appreciate be referred to as "Mr. Thingy". Do you?

;D

-T.B.

[Todd B]

I guess we should cut Howard a *little* slack. He DID at least see the word "buy" and used it correctly. Where things got a little jiggy for him was where "buy the fee-simple of my life for an hour" became "buy your free sample of meat for a dollar"!

Here's the actual passage he was trying to share from Romeo and Juliet. The character Benvolio states in Scene I:

"An I were so apt to quarrel as thou art, any man
should buy the fee-simple of my life for an hour and a quarter."

-T.B.

[Tom K]

Oh I almost p**sed when I read this! I was there, and remember almost falling out of my chair laughing! I think Howard was also the one who taped up the film projector so it wouldn't wind up on the reel as it played, but instead piled up on the floor! When Ms. Sweet flicked on the lights after the movie was finished, the look on her face was priceless!

[swalker]

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