Post by Todd B on Apr 4, 2008 23:40:09 GMT -5
First date and first marriage - in one day!
By Ron Montri
Last modified February 27. 2008 11:17AM
www.monroenews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080227/MONTRILOCCOL/587025296
Leap year always reminds me of my first marriage.
I was barely 17. My parents didn't attend the ceremony. They didn't even know I was getting hitched.
The wedding took place in the gymnasium at Ida High School. There was no reception, no cake and no gifts.
The man who preformed the ceremony wasn't licensed to marry anyone.
Hugh Shilliday was a counselor and the assistant football coach at Ida. He played the part of Marryin' Sam at the Sadie Hawkins dance that night and tied the knot for anyone who wanted to get hitched.
A Sadie Hawkins dance coincides with leap year and gives girls a chance to ask the guys. Good thing, because I didn't have the courage to ask anyone out.
I never had been on a date, unless you count the junior high school bus ride with Susan Schroeder that scarred her for life.
I didn't ask Susan out. Someone said she wanted to ride the spectator bus to a football game and wondered if I would like to be her escort.
I've written about that disaster before, so we don't need to go over the details of how I was tongue-tied. It was more awkward than Barack Obama at a fundraiser for Hillary Clinton.
That left some painful memories. So, three years later, when I was a junior in high school, I still never had been on a date. I was two months past my 17th birthday but didn't have the courage to ask someone out.
Then the phone rang. The voice on the other end asked whether I would like to go to a Sadie Hawkins dance.
I immediately turned into Mr. Suave and said, "Um, okay. I ain't doin' nothin' Saturday night.''
"Are you sure you want to go because you don't have to,'' she said, offering a chance for me to gracefully back out.
"Naw, I'd just be home watchin' Lawrence Welk or something like that,'' I replied.
I didn't know what a Sadie Hawkins dance was. I didn't know Sadie Hawkins was a character in the Lil' Abner comic strip. I didn't know they had Sadie Hawkins dances during leap year. I probably didn't even know that it was a leap year.
How should I dress for the Sadie Hawkins dance? I'd probably have to wear a tie since this was a special occasion. I could wear my inch-wide black tie, the one that clipped on because I didn't know how to tie a tie. It had a gravy stain, but I could hide it under my sweater - the gray one with the large collar that folded over in front like a giant pretzel.
I knew I'd have to dance and I didn't know how to dance. That could be a problem. And what if I started sweating under my arms? I didn't have any Right Guard since I'd never been on a date, so I splashed on some of my father's Old Spice.
I was shocked when I picked up my date and learned that she had a corsage for me. It was home made, mostly with lettuce, and looked more like a salad than a corsage.
It was supposed to be all in good fun for the Sadie Hawkins fling, but I was too embarrassed to wear it.
Good thing, because Marryin' Sam might have taken one look at my lettuce corsage and turned us down when it was time to say the I dos.
We got hitched and Marryin' Sam gave us an authentic-looking certificate that said we were husband and wife.
So I was married, even though I was on my first date. That's a real leap year.
By Ron Montri
Last modified February 27. 2008 11:17AM
www.monroenews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080227/MONTRILOCCOL/587025296
Leap year always reminds me of my first marriage.
I was barely 17. My parents didn't attend the ceremony. They didn't even know I was getting hitched.
The wedding took place in the gymnasium at Ida High School. There was no reception, no cake and no gifts.
The man who preformed the ceremony wasn't licensed to marry anyone.
Hugh Shilliday was a counselor and the assistant football coach at Ida. He played the part of Marryin' Sam at the Sadie Hawkins dance that night and tied the knot for anyone who wanted to get hitched.
A Sadie Hawkins dance coincides with leap year and gives girls a chance to ask the guys. Good thing, because I didn't have the courage to ask anyone out.
I never had been on a date, unless you count the junior high school bus ride with Susan Schroeder that scarred her for life.
I didn't ask Susan out. Someone said she wanted to ride the spectator bus to a football game and wondered if I would like to be her escort.
I've written about that disaster before, so we don't need to go over the details of how I was tongue-tied. It was more awkward than Barack Obama at a fundraiser for Hillary Clinton.
That left some painful memories. So, three years later, when I was a junior in high school, I still never had been on a date. I was two months past my 17th birthday but didn't have the courage to ask someone out.
Then the phone rang. The voice on the other end asked whether I would like to go to a Sadie Hawkins dance.
I immediately turned into Mr. Suave and said, "Um, okay. I ain't doin' nothin' Saturday night.''
"Are you sure you want to go because you don't have to,'' she said, offering a chance for me to gracefully back out.
"Naw, I'd just be home watchin' Lawrence Welk or something like that,'' I replied.
I didn't know what a Sadie Hawkins dance was. I didn't know Sadie Hawkins was a character in the Lil' Abner comic strip. I didn't know they had Sadie Hawkins dances during leap year. I probably didn't even know that it was a leap year.
How should I dress for the Sadie Hawkins dance? I'd probably have to wear a tie since this was a special occasion. I could wear my inch-wide black tie, the one that clipped on because I didn't know how to tie a tie. It had a gravy stain, but I could hide it under my sweater - the gray one with the large collar that folded over in front like a giant pretzel.
I knew I'd have to dance and I didn't know how to dance. That could be a problem. And what if I started sweating under my arms? I didn't have any Right Guard since I'd never been on a date, so I splashed on some of my father's Old Spice.
I was shocked when I picked up my date and learned that she had a corsage for me. It was home made, mostly with lettuce, and looked more like a salad than a corsage.
It was supposed to be all in good fun for the Sadie Hawkins fling, but I was too embarrassed to wear it.
Good thing, because Marryin' Sam might have taken one look at my lettuce corsage and turned us down when it was time to say the I dos.
We got hitched and Marryin' Sam gave us an authentic-looking certificate that said we were husband and wife.
So I was married, even though I was on my first date. That's a real leap year.